


Hope in the Face of Defeat

by sparklingsea



Series: Survival [1]
Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash, Spoilers, season 4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 04:06:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sparklingsea/pseuds/sparklingsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike and Harvey are presented with something that turns their world upside down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope in the Face of Defeat

Mike stood in front of the elevators leading up to the 50th floor of Pearson Specter, to that one conference room; the conference room that has had so many important and career-changing moments for Mike. He used to look forward to riding the elevator to the 50th floor. Now there was trepidation…confusion…weariness…and fear. Fear of the place he truly started to live. Fear of the people he grew to love. Fear of seeing the one man who changed Mike’s life for better and for worse in some ways; the one man who Mike would never want to let go of, but may have to.

_Ding._

Mike looked at the ground before getting on the elevator. He was curious as to why this meeting was called. Donna had called Amy and said Logan Sanders and Harvey Specter wanted to meet with Mike to discuss a different negotiation than the previous one. One that was to be beneficial for all parties involved. Mike had no idea what was going on.

No one else was in the elevator with Mike. He tried to get his shaky hands under control. He couldn’t show weakness in front of Logan and Harvey. They’d tear him apart…not that that’s any different from what they’d been doing. But still: strength. He needed it.

Mike realized he really didn’t have anyone. It was times like this, when the loneliness was unbearable that he missed his Grammy the most. He missed her everyday, but especially when he felt alone. He missed her hugs, her kisses, her smiles. He missed her calling him a little shit. He missed her endless support and love. He missed her telling him how proud she was of him – no matter how much he screwed up she was always proud. Proud of Mike. Proud that he was her grandson. He just missed his grandmother. He wanted her arms around him and he wanted to feel loved by her again. He wanted her to be there. Because she was always there and he failed her. He wasn’t always there – she deserved so much more from him. He hoped to every force in the world that she knew how much and how fiercely he loved her.

Rachel wasn’t speaking to him. She let this business deal come into the relationship. Mike tried so hard to keep it out, but it just couldn’t be done. She couldn’t see that this had nothing to do with her, with Logan, with Harvey. Mike needed this deal to keep his job. But more importantly, Mike made a promise to Walter Gillis. The man may hate him, but Mike made a promise. Rachel couldn’t see that, or she just didn’t want to. Mike was tired of explaining. He was tried of defending himself. He was tired of people beating him down. He thought Rachel would be there for him – he thought she’d be happy he was trying to succeed on his own. Moreover, he thought Rachel would be the person he’d marry. He thought they would support each other, be there for each other, comfort each other. The past few months have felt tense, cold and lonely. This wasn’t what they signed up for. This wasn’t the happiness they dreamed of. This was the path of destruction and they needed to get out – for each other and for themselves.

Donna was convinced he’d betrayed her. He bought those tapes for Harvey, right after the conversation with Donna. He thought it’d be a nice gesture to keep the peace between the two of them. He never meant to use them against Harvey, but there was only so many times a person can be told he’s useless before he lashes out. And coming from the most important person in his life…well Mike lashed out in a big way. Now Donna won’t speak to him. It was funny…she said she thought they were friends. Mike didn’t think that – he didn’t think she gave a shit about him. Everything she did was for Harvey, never for Mike. And he couldn’t blame her for that, but he didn’t betray her. He knew that and he truly believed that.

Louis hated him. It was understandable. Mike never thought he’d do what he did – use the woman Louis was in love with against him. Mike could admit to himself that what he did was pretty horrible of him, but he did what Harvey taught him – play the man. So yes, Louis may hate him, but their relationship has been rocky from the start. They’d hurt each other too many times. They were never going to have a healthy relationship and Mike was okay with that. There was too much damage to repair any sort of friendship.

Trevor and Jenny weren’t speaking to him – but that went both ways. Mike hadn’t tried either. His oldest friend and the one girl who accepted him and never held it against him. If he was honest, Mike missed Trevor the most. He wished that they could come to some sort of understanding. They’d been through so much with each other and they both did horrible things to each other in end. He really missed Trevor.

Harvey. Mike loved Harvey – he changed his life. But Harvey was also the one person who could hurt Mike the most and he has hurt him so much in the past few months, before Mike left Pearson Specter. Mike now goes to sleep at night and hears _“You think you’re not replaceable?”_ , _“Long after I’ve forgotten you”_ , _“I made you”_ , _“Not the best lawyer”_ and the worst, “ _You’re nothing without me”_. It was an endless loop and it cut Mike to the core. He didn’t think Harvey would use his drug deal mishap, but he did. Mike understood – Logan was going to find out and this was a way to stop it. But Harvey was the one who told him there were 146 ways to get away from a gun. Where were those ways? He couldn’t think of anything else? Before Mike left, before the merger, before the memo situation – at the beginning, when Mike thought of Harvey it warmed his entire being; that someone cared that much about him, for him. Now, it left him feeling lost and so alone. He hadn’t seen Harvey since that day in Harvey’s office when they lashed out at each other. Despite everything, even though it hurt to think about Harvey, Mike was excited to see him. He wanted to see his friend. He wasn’t sure if Harvey considered him a friend anymore, if at all, but Mike will always consider him one.

 _Ding_.

_Here we go._

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsS

Harvey was dreading the meeting. He remembered the last one and he didn’t need a repeat; he didn’t want a repeat. He was unsure as to how much further the takeover could go before he and Mike completely broke.

He looked over the proposal Logan prepared and honestly, didn’t really see the purpose of the meeting. It was a standard proposal and what it really came down to was offering Mike money, again. Harvey told Logan this wasn’t going to work, but Logan said he had a good feeling about it and Harvey just let it go – deferred to Logan again.

Harvey was sitting in the conference room waiting for both Logan and Mike. He looked up from the table by chance as Mike stepped out of the elevator. He looked so tired and defeated. Harvey felt his stomach clench. That wasn’t the man who started at SIG.

Mike lifted his head and Harvey caught his gaze. He gave Mike a small smile and felt his insides unclench when Mike returned it. _Maybe they could survive_. Mike walked to the glass door of the room and carefully stepped inside. They just stared at each other before Mike dropped his gaze and walked to stand opposite Harvey.

Harvey noticed that Mike was looking slightly pale and definitely skinnier than usual. He frowned in concern. Mike noticed.

“What?” Mike asked, wearily.

It was so bad that Mike just expected the worst now. Harvey couldn’t believe they had come to this. He wasn’t completely delusional. He knew he played a major part in this.

He answered softly, “You don’t look so good, Mike.”

Mike shrugged. “Busy few weeks.” He smirked at Harvey.

Harvey chuckled lightly. “Yeah, busy.”

They both smiled softly. After a few moments of comfortable silence, Harvey shifted and leaned on the table.

“Thank you…for the tapes. I really appreciate it.”

Mike smiled and then his face fell. “I wasn’t going to use them, Harvey. I was never going to use them.”

Harvey nodded. “I know, Mike. I didn’t think you were.”

Harvey just watched Mike. He looked skittish and unsure. It was so different from the confidence that Mike gained. This wasn’t the Mike that left. It made something dark unfurl in Harvey.

 _I was punishing him for leaving. I didn’t treat him as a client. I didn’t show him any respect_.

Harvey was disappointed in himself for being petty. He was disappointed in Mike for caring too much about Harvey’s opinion. He was disappointed that the greatest friendship he’s had in years disintegrated around him and he did nothing to stop it.

The door opened and Logan glided in. Harvey rolled his eyes and saw Mike grin at him. He felt happy for the first time in days. He really missed Mike.

Logan walked up to Mike and stuck his hand out. “Mike, pleasure to see you again.”

Harvey scoffed internally.

Mike shook Logan’s hand. “Likewise, Mr. Sanders.”

Harvey gave Mike credit – he was keeping his cool. He was impressed with his ex-protégé.

“Alright, I believe we have another deal on the table,” Harvey addressed both men whilst sitting down.

Mike took the seat opposite him and Logan stood behind Harvey’s chair. Odd, but not enough to bother with.

“Mike, Logan has come up with –”

“Actually Harvey, I’d like to scrap that deal. Some recent information has come to light and it will definitely benefit my company.”

Mike looked confused and he turned to Harvey. Harvey was just as lost – he shook his head at Mike to indicate that.

_What was this idiot playing at?_

“New information?” Harvey questioned, his voice cold. He was so tired of taking this kid’s shit.

“Yes. I’m sure you’ll be shocked by it, Harvey. You may take it more personally than anyone else.”

Mike’s eyebrows shot up and Harvey was even more lost.

_What the hell is going on?_

And suddenly, it was like a light went off. Harvey knew exactly what Logan had.

Logan threw a file on the table. “That’s the complete background check on one, Michael James Ross. It’s a thick file. Who would have thought Pearson Specter had a fraud winning most of their cases?”

Harvey’s blood turned to ice and he looks at Mike. Mike who was frozen staring with glazed eyes at the file. Harvey wanted to kill Logan. He wanted to rip this asshole to shreds. He wanted to take Mike and run for the hills. _“I have 2 tickets to Buenos Aires”_. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsS

Mike couldn’t breathe.

_I’m going to prison. Shit._

He gripped the arms of his seat so tightly, his knuckles turned to white. He could feel the beads of sweat sliding down his neck. He could feel his heart crashing against his rib cage. It was like everything else stopped and that file was the only thing he could see.

Sudden movement across from him snapped him out of his daze. Harvey stood up abruptly. Mike could see the tension throughout his body, the absolute fury and hatred all over his face.

_Harvey didn’t know. Harvey. I need to protect Harvey._

Because at the end of the day, Mike would always protect Harvey. Despite all the shit they’ve been through, despite all the hurt they’ve done to each other, Harvey was still the one person Mike would take a bullet for.

“What the hell is this?” Harvey snarled at Logan.

Logan smirked and raised his hands up as if to say _hey, don’t look at me_.

“I told you I was going to look into him. You refused to do anything, Harvey.”

“I did something! I went to Gillis and got him to turn on Mike. You said you’d drop it. You said you’d leave it alone.” Harvey’s fists were clenched. Mike needed to do something before Harvey let slip he knew something. As far as Logan was concerned, Harvey didn’t know anything. He didn’t know what was in that file. And Mike was going to keep that belief true.

Mike stood up. His legs were trembling. He cleared his throat. Both men turned to look at him – Logan with a smug expression and Harvey with a complete look of despair.

“Go on, Harvey. Find out what your boy’s done.” Logan just had to bait Harvey. Mike could tell he was waiting for Harvey to admit he knew. To admit he had full knowledge of everything in the file.

 _He’ll be waiting a long time_.

Harvey was too busy glaring at Logan to notice that Mike grabbed the file. Mike looked at Logan and put on his mask. He wasn’t going to let this asshole get the better of him. He wasn’t going to let him hurt Harvey.

“I’m so sorry, Harvey,” Harvey finally looked at him and Mike gave him such a sad excuse of a smile. He could feel his eyes watering. This was it.

“I never got my J.D. I’m not a real lawyer. I hacked into Harvard’s records and created a student account and history for myself and I hacked into the Bar and did the same.”

Logan looked like it was Christmas morning. Harvey looked devastated. He knew what Mike was doing.

“Mike, I –”

“I’m sorry I betrayed you Harvey. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I – ”

“–Mike!”

“I’m so sorry, Harvey.” He just looked into Harvey’s eyes and hoped the man could see his pleading expression. He hoped Harvey knew what he was actually apologizing for.  

He turned to Logan. “What do you want? I’m assuming I’m going to prison…”

Harvey’s head snapped to Logan. “That’s not happening –”

“Look Mike, you did something wrong. Something illegal and you need to pay the price,” Logan cut Harvey off. Mike observed Logan. He was right; he did need to pay the price. Logan actually looked sheepish. The confusion must have shown on his face because Logan continued.

“I am sorry I did this. I love Rachel, Mike. I’ve loved her for a long time. And she cares about you. So hurting you will hurt her and I’m sorry for that. But this is what my P.I. came up with and I am using it.”

Mike nodded his head. He could understand that. This was business. This was what it meant to be in this field. Using one’s artillery and this was Logan’s.

“That is such bullshit. This is ridiculous. You think I’m going to let you come into my house and attack? No, definitely not,” Harvey spat and walked around the table. He pressed a hand against the small of his back, encouraging him to move to the door. Mike could feel the pressure and the heat spread all over.

 _Harvey will never stop protecting me. And I’m putting him at risk_.

Mike gripped Harvey’s elbow. “Harvey…” he whispered.

“No. Mike, no.”

“Logan, can I talk to Harvey alone? You can call whoever you need to, just let me talk to him, please.”

He saw Logan nod and step out of the room from the corner of his eye.

“What the hell are you doing?” Harvey wrenched his arm out of Mike’s hand and gripped Mike’s upper arms.

“We can fix this, Mike. _I_ can fix this. Let me fix this.”

Mike’s heart was breaking, but he also knew that this would always be over his head. And people would use it against him. Rachel had done it. Harvey had done it. Donna had done it. Mike needed to face the consequences.

It was a strange feeling – the clarity. He would have never thought he’d be okay going to prison. He was terrified, obviously. But he needed to get this chapter over with. Too much had happened. And he was done. He wanted to live a life where he could just feel safe and happy.

“Harvey. I have no doubt that you will use everything in your power to fix this. But _I don’t want you to_. This is happening. And you are _not_ going to do anything to change that,” Mike stared at Harvey.

Harvey scoffed.

“No, Harvey. Listen to me. Do not go against this.”

“Fine. Then I’m going with you.”

“Are you insane? Have you lost your mind?” Mike snapped at him.

“Mike, I’m not letting you –”

Mike threw the file on the table. “Goddamnit Harvey! Just listen to me. For once just listen. You cannot admit you knew. No, don’t interrupt me. You can’t do that. Logan thinks I did this. He thinks that I fooled everyone. You’re in the clear, Jessica’s in the clear. If he finds out you knew, this law firm – Pearson Specter – will be done. He’ll come after you and Jessica. This is an out. I’m an out. Take it, Harvey. I’m giving you permission.”

Mike could feel a tear sliding down his cheek. Harvey’s eyes were glassy.

“Mike,” Harvey’s voice cracked, “I did this too. I made this happen. I brought you on.”

Mike shook his head. “You gave me a chance and I took it and ran with it. I got to do what I’d always dreamed of doing. I was a great lawyer,” both chuckled weakly, “but Harvey, you are a terrific lawyer. You studied the law. This is what you were meant to do. If you get caught you’ll never practice again. Me? I was never meant to practice in the first place.”

Harvey glared at the table.

Mike leaned down to catch his gaze. “Harvey, promise me. Promise me you won’t go against this.”

“I’m not going to do that.”

“Harvey, please. Do this for me. If not for me, for Jessica, for this firm, for the people you love. Just please.”

“Mike, you’ll be in prison.”

“I know. But there was no way this wasn’t going to end with that. Actions have consequences. This was going to happen sooner or later. I need to do this. If I do this, it’ll never loom over me and you won’t be looking over your shoulder either. Let me do this, Harvey.”

SsSsSsSsSsSsSsSsS

Harvey couldn’t believe what this day turned into. He was so hopeful when he saw Mike and now, now everything was crumbling around him. And what Mike was asking of him. He didn’t know how to let this go – it wasn’t in his nature.

He watched Mike. Mike seemed calm. Harvey saw that Mike just wanted this to be over; this secret to be over. He hadn’t realized how much the lying bothered Mike. How worried he was. Harvey didn’t know what to do. It must have been about 5 minutes of them staring at each other.

“Harvey…”

Just his name. That’s all it took.

“Fine. I don’t agree with this at all. But I can’t see any other way right now. And this is what you want. I’ll give you what you want, Mike. But it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

Mike’s shoulders sagged in relief. Harvey was too busy staring at the wall that he was unprepared for the hug Mike bestowed upon him. He didn’t know what to do with his arms, but after a few seconds he gripped Mike back tightly.

Mike started whispering in his ear. “We’ll get through this. I’ll get a lawyer, plead guilty and hope for a short sentence. It’s going to be fine, Harvey. You’ll visit me, right?” Harvey nodded, his chin knocking Mike’s shoulder.

“Every chance I get,” Harvey choked out. Harvey lifted his head to look at Mike.

Mike had tears streaming down his face. Harvey was no better. Mike cupped Harvey’s face. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll be okay, Harvey. I promise.” Harvey took his face out of Mike’s gentle hands and hid against Mike’s shoulder. Mike wrapped his arms around Harvey once again. Harvey felt a hand cupping his head, holding him there. Harvey felt protected, shielded, safe. He let himself go, knowing Mike was there, if only for a little while longer.

_It was going to be okay. They were going to be okay. They would survive this._  


**Author's Note:**

> This was my first fic and, therefore, my first Harvey/Mike fic! It's un-beta'd. It can be read as slash or just friendship. I welcome any constructive criticism :). 
> 
> I have no knowledge about legal proceedings, so I apologize if there are blatant mistakes.
> 
> I wrote this because Mike is my favourite character and has been since season 1 and he's been given such a bad hand so I really wanted to do something that shows him taking control of his own life. I probably portrayed Mike and Harvey completely OOC, but here it is, so I hope it was okay. 
> 
> There are 2 endings - this one is more hopeful while the other (the next part) is more angst-y. Let me know which is preferred, thanks!


End file.
